blessed with a ray of light

yesterday, at an event at my daughter school, I glanced over at her and thought she looked a little tired. by the time she came home from school, it was clear that she had come down with something. oh poor thing, to not be feeling well as she gets a break for the holiday. and my plans to start and finish up some gifts these last few days were not looking so good either, especially seeing that my other little one has been sick.

so today, we kept my daughter out of school so she could rest. my husband went out in the morning to stock up on his toys to put under the tree. the children and i stayed in and did some snuggling until my little ones went off to their room to play. i took that time to do some quick cleaning then i needed stop to help clean up and organize the children's bedroom. the result of a 2 1/2 year old getting into a 7 1/2 year old's things, a reminder that we need to simplify again. (although we managed to sift 3 barbie dolls out)

the morning went by rather quickly and all were ready for lunch. as we were eating, the sun peaked around the side of our house as it usually does this time of year, bringing direct sunlight into our kitchen. my daughter moved her seat over to bask in the sun and a ray of light caught her swarvoski crystal bracelet (part of her mermaid halloween outfit, a reminder that i have lots to share). With joy she exclaimed, "LOOK, MY BRACELET IS MAKING RAINBOWS" and oh how we all love these rainbows. 

i had already accepted and felt fine that my christmas projects were going to have to be pushed back for upcoming birthdays as i have two little ones that need me but i was a little unhappy thinking about the type and amount of daddy gifts that were going to stocked under our christmas tree. but after that moment of joy and glee brought about by dancing rainbows, i just decided to let the ill feelings of commercialized toys go and just know that when i sit back and be present in these small moments, i will be renewed with wonder and awe and my children will be blessed with the same.

A happy solstice indeed.

sorry no pics today. but i am reminded of how much i enjoy capturing the light here. happy solstice everyone

vegan pumpkin pie + preparing our advent sky

i hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving. we had a lovely day. much thanks and appreciation to my family, who made our dinner time later to allow my little guy a restful nap. while the little guy napped, we made some homemade cranberry sauce with clementines and cinnamon to bring with us. it was very tasty. we also brought, my vegan pumpkin pie, made with coconut milk, bananas and coconut oil. my pumpkin pie, came in second (depending on who you ask) just behind a dreamy turtle pie that was so amazing. my little guy gobbled up his piece of pumpkin pie and we had some left to bring home that he has been eating every day. i'll be baking another one this week :)

 

after the thanksgiving holiday, we also put our christmas tree up and hung our stockings. it feels like the right time for our family, allowing us more time to prepare for the festivals and the holiday season. everyone wanting to help this year. 

tonight, after the children were tucked into bed, i prepare for the first day of advent. i wish you and your family a beautiful advent. thank you to everyone who kept me in their thoughts and thank you again for all your kind words and encouragement. 

finding my rhythm

school started and instantly a prevalent school schedule touched down like a tornado. my little one going off to school for another year and it is not what i envisioned with homeschooling in my heart, but it is our reality. in addition to a new school schedule, there were a lot of changes happening in our home. the little guy had just started sleeping through the night, i had survived months of sleep deprivation and i was in a better place to handle the daily ups and downs of poor feeding and to get our family back on track. it did take my body a while to adjust to being able to sleep but once i did get a good night's sleep, the world came alive to me, which is a beautiful thing. but seeing the world with eyes wide open, i saw a huge mountain of things to do around the house. there was so much to catch up on and i was completely overwhelmed thinking about all i had to do.

while, i still am trying to understand and accept the last 17 1/2 months, i know that i was doing the best that i could, but my mind, body and spirit were in crisis mode. i wish to be as far away from that way of living. it is more than wishing, it is having the awareness of what i could do for myself to keep myself calm and centered and slow paced. it really brings the importance of what truly matters in life, the health and happiness of my family. 

and while there was a lot to do around the house and getting everything ready for my daughter to start school, i am only one person. run around with my head chopped off would not have helped anyone out. it was a challenge to keep myself calm, centered and slow paced during this time and i continue to work on this daily. i work on being present. to be in nature, to find my breathe, to be in the moment, to enjoy sweet moments with my children, to nurture my patience and work on my rhythm. i get back to making time to be creative. and caring for myself. and when my head is spinning, i get outside or color mandalas. 

i try to keep my enormous to-do list out of my thoughts. i keep a small to-do list, mostly for memory but i find being able to cross items off my list very rewarding. the list is continuous and i prioritize as new items are added. i also committed to spending 15 minutes decluttering (from the flylady) i work on planning our meals and try out a few new recipes a week to take into account my little one's dietary needs. a very important step is my night time routine, which makes my mornings run smoothly.

of course, some days are smoother than others and i am still working on all this. 
during all this, i did end up having a tag sale against my better judgment and it proved to be too much. i became stressed and ended up getting sick. once again, it presented an opportunity to learn a lesson. life, it's funny that way.
and while, i have made great changes, i still have not found peace with everything, but i'll know when it is here. this nursery rhythm has been on my mind

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream

i have been working on this post for a while. still not having the exactly right words that i want. maybe still not being in the place i would like. but, either way, i good way to end.

navratri celebration

 :: we celebrate the beginning of autumn with new friends. seeking blessings for new endeavors and enjoying traditional music and dance.

(notice my little one wearing a playsilk. always a reason for a playsilk :) )

open eye meditation

a recent webcast over at the waldorf connection on 3 ways to create a nourishing home for your child offers some thoughts. danielle epifanie started off discussing the importance of "creating a space of breath around the child" and to be aware of the "what is presenting itself in front of us". heaven on earth author, sharifa oppenheimer, discussed that "rhythm is life". the inner rhythm of the parent is important (i could not agree more) steady. calm. nourishing. (sleep.) start with an open eye meditation. turn your attention to your heart. breathe and let the breath move in and out of your heart. let it swing in and out of your heart (love that) bring gratitude in. the importance of sitting in nature. lastly, lisa boisvert mackenzie talked about play and the child's world being one of awe and wonder. say, "humm, i wonder" to a child's questions and importance of the child being free to play.
check out the webcast here
websites mentioned:

margaretsgarden.org and elementalmother.com

our heaven on earth
celebrate the rhythm of life 
waldorf in the home

just as i remembered

we had great news last week. our little guy jumped up to the 10th percentile. i usually am right next to the nurse as she marks his measurements on the growth chart but this time i was was just playing around with him, although i did glanced over and saw that his numbers increased from his last check-up. i was not my old anxious self of needing to see exactly where he was on the charts. when our doctor came in and told us, i was shocked. warmth and comfort came over me and i became surrounded by huge arms that filled the small room. i felt secure and protected and i immediately knew it was my grandfather, who i know is still here with us.

my grandfather was not one of many words, although his presence was greatly felt. he has come to me a few times other times to let me know that things will be alright. once, after a medical procedure and two times the day i broke my collar bone when i was 6 months pregnant. my grandfather came to me when i just realized that i broke my collar bone and then in the emergency room when my concern for the baby escalated. comfort and warmth for a short while in-between the intense pain i was feeling.

my grandfather was the first man in my life and he was a constant figure in my life. we spent a lot of time together, he and i. if i slept over on the weekend, we would have an early breakfast together (my grandmother always slept in) it was always an omelet and he made the best omelets, i still can taste them but have yet to duplicate them. in the spring, we planted his garden together i remember so vividly the feeling of poking my finger down into the cool earth and how vested i was in the entire growing season. in the summer, i always arrived to a bowl of fresh ripe raspberries and a refreshing pitcher of ice tea with mint from the garden. in the winter, we gathered around the wood burning fireplace and we put in the sparkling colors. those colors were beautiful amidst the flames. and my grandfather always had a big cozy chair. there was always room in his chair for me and that comforting feeling is just as i remembered.

last bits of the summer sun

 

i love this time of year. autumn is beginning to make it's arrival. little bursts of autumn color can be seen amongst the lush greenery of the trees. a light sweater is required for our evening walk and cool, dewy mornings. but, by midday, the summer sun is so prevalent. we explored a nature center and seized the opportunity for the children to swim in their pools.

on the top of my to-do list is to brush up on my picture taking skills. i continue to try and capture vince's little hands and toes playing with the rainbows around our house. if he would just sit still it would be so much easier. i am always a second too late in capturing the pic. i also never imagined how difficult it would be to capture a picture of both children together. i have my work cut out for me. i also have to search out some camera options. any suggestions?