Sunday, January 31, 2010

moments with snowflakes

with having a better understanding about what is going on with my little one and having a great start of getting him back where he needs to be, i have felt an awaken inside of me. i sense of renewal. and my eyes were open to all these wonderful moments. with my little girl, i was able to experience something wonderous. something that i had not witnessed in all my life, the lacey patterns of snowflakes. while i had seen them in the photographs of kenneth libbecchi and while amazed at them, i thought that they could only be seen with a microscope. and we sat there in the car while the snowstorm came in and we observed tons of beautiful snowflakes falling on our windshield, sharing with us their beauty.

and this is a fresh start to the new year for me. for i know that i have not been as patient or as kind as i would have liked, in these last months. and it seems like such a fitting time as i plan our candlemas celebration. as we celebrate the awakening of mother earth. to think about my goals in the new be a better model for my little one's, to plan better for my family. and as i look through ways that candlemas could be celebrated, i share them with you.

~ blessing of candles
~ make pacakes or crepe (symbolize the round, golden sun)
~ have diner by candlelight
~ make beeswax candles, trim wicks, clean candle holders
~ polish shiny surfaces and doing some spring cleaning, making it easier to reflect the lights you display
~ plant bulbs

If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Come, winter, have another flight.
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Go, winter, and come not again.

wishing you blessed candlemas,

Thursday, January 28, 2010

inching up the charts

when we last talked about my little one's poor growth and failing to thrive, he had been declining on the growth chart over 5 months. i am so thankful for family who support led me to search out new doctors and answers to my questions. each doctor brought us along our path to the next, appointments opened up and the big questions were answered very quickly for us. poor feeding is what has been determined and we are working with a feeding team at the children's medical hospital. we have the support of a few doctors and i feel great about our plan moving forward.

while there are a few things that led to this, the main issues has been that my little one would rather be on the move.
through the evening, he has always nursed very well, nursing every 2-3 hours. in talking with a doctor, he said that my little one is in a drowsy state of mind which is allowing for his good feedings. a light bulb went off and now, as soon as i hear the little one stirring from his nap, i run upstairs to nurse him. (prior, we were nursing before his naps) we are fortunate that my little one has taken to his solids and he gets 3 meals and 3 mini-meals a day that we mix in a 1/2 teaspoon of olive oil and a high calorie formula in his food. we are focusing on high calorie foods (pumpkin, olives, hummus, pasta and potatoes) and foods rich in proteins, as well as variety and brain building foods.

my little one also has an intolerance to milk protein
. my diet has also remained egg-free since christmas time and i am a little suspicious of egg seeing my daughter was allergic to egg through the age of 3 years. i have found this resource very helpful in ensuring i have eliminated my son's suspected allergens from the food that i eat, as allergens can be hidden within the ingredients. the document, how to read a label, if you suspect a food allergy or intolerance, i advise you to seek medical advice. allergic reactions can be life threatening) i have found that with my daughter and now my son's intolerance, that preparing and planning ahead are crucial. the great news is that there are so many resources on the internet. there are also wonderful blogs, dedicated to sharing their family's experience and recipes. the recipes are so so so helpful. thank you to everyone who shared their stories with me.

i am so grateful to the mothering boards and to those who respond and leave comments. mamas helping mamas, sharing their story and experiences. they really helped me to have prior knowledge when talking to the different doctors. they gave me hope and the feeling that i was not alone.

above all i encourage other mothers to listen to your inner voice. ask as many questions as you need to, seek out people to help your answer your concerns and questions and above all, ask your doctors what are ALL the options (something i learned with both my deliveries, a whole other story to tell one day. if you are going to be delivering, another critical thinking questions is to ask if the decision needs to be made right now or do you have some time to think about your decision) sometimes a doctor talks about only 1 option because in their mind they believe it is the best option. and while you can respect their opinion, i feel grateful to have learned to ask about all the options so that i can choose what is best for my family.

today, my little guy is back on the growth chart. he's in the 4th percentile on weight and he's reaching up to the 50th percentile on height. we are inching up the charts!

thank you all for your support and keeping us in your thoughts
with growing gratitude,

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

springs a coming

only a trace of snow remains in some spots. the weather mild. the sun was bright and warm. the skies were a beautiful blue. and there was a feeling of spring was in the air.

it brought an awaking inside of me. a refreshing feeling. a newness.

we head to a park in between the baby's feedings.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

a visit from rosa lily

prior to losing her first tooth, we had been discussing what would happen when the time came. we said that she would get to keep her first tooth and that the tooth fairy would come and leave her something special under her pillow. i really had my chance to keep this simple. i think that keeping it simple makes it very sweet and special. and magical.

i had a tiny tooth fairy card that i had been saving for a very long time from the silver penny. it had a place for the child's name, date and the tooth fairy's name, which i found some help over here with names. rosa lily left some magical sequin stars, 2 quarters and a rose quartz heart. my little one cherishes that she has a special tooth fairy and much excitement is revealed as she retells everyone about this special event in precise, sequential order.

...and so the magic continues as my little one leaves her fairy some trinkets on her windowsill and a drawing under her pillow this evening. i will say going under the pillow is mighty tricky. but the magic it brings is something i hope she holds with her as she grows.

Friday, January 22, 2010

a missing tooth

:: her first tooth. it was a little loose earlier in the week and tonight it came out. she is very excited that she gets to keep her first tooth and that the tooth fairy will pay her a visit tonight. she left the tooth fairy a piece of concrete that she found today so the tooth fairy could build a house with.

one small change - reuseable sandwich bags

our one small change is going to be getting back into using cloth napkins and towels, instead of paper. i am also just completing a trade for reusable sandwich and snack bags from here. i wanted to bring out the sewing machine (which i have not used in 15 years) to make these wonderful reusable snack and sandwich bags. but i just do not have the time to sew right now. in the future, i want to start making the things that my family needs and reduce the things we are purchasing.

from hip mountain mama...
Recycle, use cloth napkins, try cloth diapering, replace your bulbs with LED or CFL bulbs, turn off your lights, use natural cleaning products or make your own, drive your car less, buy a hybrid, turn your thermostat down, use the sun to warm your home through passive solar heat, bring your own bags to the store, install a low flow shower head, stop buying bottled water, unplug it, bring more plants into your home, always print double sided, when getting rid of things consider freecycle, craigslist or ebay (do not throw out as someone else is surely able to get some use out of it), support local farms and try to eat local, purchase wind power if it is available in your area, purchase products made with natural materials and that can be reused, purchase recycled paper products, use rags instead of paper towels to clean up messes, use reusable lunch sacks, buy organic, landscape responsibly by reducing the use of water needed, donate time and/or money to green efforts, elimate the use of toilet paper by using family cloths, don’t flush every time, put a brick or something heavy it he back of your toilet so it uses less water when flushed"

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

haiti - make a difference

i wish i could hop on a plane and fly down to help. to help bandage up their wounds, to hold, to cuddle, to make everything alright. and if only i could make their tears go away. thinking about the families is just heartbreaking. seeing all those babies and children who needs so much help. i chose to donate to the american red cross, knowing that together, we all could make a difference.

my little one gathered some of her money for school, which is being donated to the haiti relief fund.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

natural process

:: while our christmas turned more commercialized than i hoped, my heart smiles that all those types of toys are soon forgotten about and my little one chooses her shells and tree blocks for play. and i can not say how this little nature lover loves gifts of crystals, geodes and minerals or trips to museums or nature centers.

:: a butterfly created from a pine cone, feathers and pieces of corn husks.

:: this is what became of her carrots

:: prism play

:: a girls day out, playing with beads and patterns

my little one had a nice break from school. i did not realize how much paperwork she was being given at school. handouts and dittos that are passed off as learning. and handouts sent home that fill our time completing.

with some time off, we have a nice rhythm going at home. filled with many opportunities for learning throughout the day. it's more of a natural process. and i desire days where we let my little one's curiosities and exploration lead the way. i desire her learning from self discovery.

Friday, January 8, 2010

running in the new year

:: peek-a-boo
:: gaining momentum while coming around the corner. you should see this little guy running. it is so delightful.

:: loving her new sweater. thank you uncle jim and aunt kathy

:: the sweet aroma of our paperwhites

:: creating a new window star (kite paper, contact paper and heavier paper for the cut out frame)

:: wet-on-wet painting
:: 3 kings day

this week has been filled enjoying time with my little one and visits to new doctors, and researching. and taking a relaxing soak each night, reading and going to bed early. i feel a sense of empowerment, taking matters into my own hands. for a mother who thinks there is something wrong when their little one is not thriving, one needs to search for answers. my ped seems to be on board now and i feel much better. i also feel a sense of calm (at times, as the sleep deprivation brings on a roller coaster of emotions), knowing that i will be able to handle anything that comes our way.

seeing i am still nursing, we had been following our nd's recommendation of eliminating soy, dairy (including goat's yogurt, which is similar to the protein in milk), egg and wheat from my diet and feeding the little one more throughout the day.
i have found that "safe" food is about planning and preparing a head of time and reading the label on everything. when my little one did start going to me less and less to nurse, i had to cut back on his food to preserve that precious supply.

after some allergy testing (scratch test) we determined that there is not a true allergy to the suspecting foods. but, i feel strongly and know that my little one reacted to cow's milk products when i had them and more recently he reacted to goat's milk yogurt. it is safe to say that my little one has an intolerance to dairy, so dairy will be continued to be eliminated from our diets. i am uncertain about the soy. for the meantime, dairy will be cut out and i will bring back eggs, soy and wheat to my diet until we determine that they need to be cut out. up next we are off to a GI doctor.

while things may be difficult at times, i know that we'll get through this together... as a family. taking time to enjoy the simple things together. and i feel so ever grateful for my family...for family who offers unconditional support and parents and grandparents who offer their experience and guidance... for my daughter who is ever so patiently with me...for my little guy who makes me laugh and love in the most challenges times and my husband who handles his concern and eases my worrying.

Friday, January 1, 2010

happy new years

.... wishing everyone the hope, joy, beauty & wonder of a new year.


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