Monday, September 27, 2010

just as i remembered

we had great news last week. our little guy jumped up to the 10th percentile. i usually am right next to the nurse as she marks his measurements on the growth chart but this time i was was just playing around with him, although i did glanced over and saw that his numbers increased from his last check-up. i was not my old anxious self of needing to see exactly where he was on the charts. when our doctor came in and told us, i was shocked. warmth and comfort came over me and i became surrounded by huge arms that filled the small room. i felt secure and protected and i immediately knew it was my grandfather, who i know is still here with us.

my grandfather was not one of many words, although his presence was greatly felt. he has come to me a few times other times to let me know that things will be alright. once, after a medical procedure and two times the day i broke my collar bone when i was 6 months pregnant. my grandfather came to me when i just realized that i broke my collar bone and then in the emergency room when my concern for the baby escalated. comfort and warmth for a short while in-between the intense pain i was feeling.

my grandfather was the first man in my life and he was a constant figure in my life. we spent a lot of time together, he and i. if i slept over on the weekend, we would have an early breakfast together (my grandmother always slept in) it was always an omelet and he made the best omelets, i still can taste them but have yet to duplicate them. in the spring, we planted his garden together i remember so vividly the feeling of poking my finger down into the cool earth and how vested i was in the entire growing season. in the summer, i always arrived to a bowl of fresh ripe raspberries and a refreshing pitcher of ice tea with mint from the garden. in the winter, we gathered around the wood burning fireplace and we put in the sparkling colors. those colors were beautiful amidst the flames. and my grandfather always had a big cozy chair. there was always room in his chair for me and that comforting feeling is just as i remembered.

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