blessed with a ray of light

yesterday, at an event at my daughter school, I glanced over at her and thought she looked a little tired. by the time she came home from school, it was clear that she had come down with something. oh poor thing, to not be feeling well as she gets a break for the holiday. and my plans to start and finish up some gifts these last few days were not looking so good either, especially seeing that my other little one has been sick.

so today, we kept my daughter out of school so she could rest. my husband went out in the morning to stock up on his toys to put under the tree. the children and i stayed in and did some snuggling until my little ones went off to their room to play. i took that time to do some quick cleaning then i needed stop to help clean up and organize the children's bedroom. the result of a 2 1/2 year old getting into a 7 1/2 year old's things, a reminder that we need to simplify again. (although we managed to sift 3 barbie dolls out)

the morning went by rather quickly and all were ready for lunch. as we were eating, the sun peaked around the side of our house as it usually does this time of year, bringing direct sunlight into our kitchen. my daughter moved her seat over to bask in the sun and a ray of light caught her swarvoski crystal bracelet (part of her mermaid halloween outfit, a reminder that i have lots to share). With joy she exclaimed, "LOOK, MY BRACELET IS MAKING RAINBOWS" and oh how we all love these rainbows. 

i had already accepted and felt fine that my christmas projects were going to have to be pushed back for upcoming birthdays as i have two little ones that need me but i was a little unhappy thinking about the type and amount of daddy gifts that were going to stocked under our christmas tree. but after that moment of joy and glee brought about by dancing rainbows, i just decided to let the ill feelings of commercialized toys go and just know that when i sit back and be present in these small moments, i will be renewed with wonder and awe and my children will be blessed with the same.

A happy solstice indeed.

sorry no pics today. but i am reminded of how much i enjoy capturing the light here. happy solstice everyone

finding my rhythm

school started and instantly a prevalent school schedule touched down like a tornado. my little one going off to school for another year and it is not what i envisioned with homeschooling in my heart, but it is our reality. in addition to a new school schedule, there were a lot of changes happening in our home. the little guy had just started sleeping through the night, i had survived months of sleep deprivation and i was in a better place to handle the daily ups and downs of poor feeding and to get our family back on track. it did take my body a while to adjust to being able to sleep but once i did get a good night's sleep, the world came alive to me, which is a beautiful thing. but seeing the world with eyes wide open, i saw a huge mountain of things to do around the house. there was so much to catch up on and i was completely overwhelmed thinking about all i had to do.

while, i still am trying to understand and accept the last 17 1/2 months, i know that i was doing the best that i could, but my mind, body and spirit were in crisis mode. i wish to be as far away from that way of living. it is more than wishing, it is having the awareness of what i could do for myself to keep myself calm and centered and slow paced. it really brings the importance of what truly matters in life, the health and happiness of my family. 

and while there was a lot to do around the house and getting everything ready for my daughter to start school, i am only one person. run around with my head chopped off would not have helped anyone out. it was a challenge to keep myself calm, centered and slow paced during this time and i continue to work on this daily. i work on being present. to be in nature, to find my breathe, to be in the moment, to enjoy sweet moments with my children, to nurture my patience and work on my rhythm. i get back to making time to be creative. and caring for myself. and when my head is spinning, i get outside or color mandalas. 

i try to keep my enormous to-do list out of my thoughts. i keep a small to-do list, mostly for memory but i find being able to cross items off my list very rewarding. the list is continuous and i prioritize as new items are added. i also committed to spending 15 minutes decluttering (from the flylady) i work on planning our meals and try out a few new recipes a week to take into account my little one's dietary needs. a very important step is my night time routine, which makes my mornings run smoothly.

of course, some days are smoother than others and i am still working on all this. 
during all this, i did end up having a tag sale against my better judgment and it proved to be too much. i became stressed and ended up getting sick. once again, it presented an opportunity to learn a lesson. life, it's funny that way.
and while, i have made great changes, i still have not found peace with everything, but i'll know when it is here. this nursery rhythm has been on my mind

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream

i have been working on this post for a while. still not having the exactly right words that i want. maybe still not being in the place i would like. but, either way, i good way to end.

just as i remembered

we had great news last week. our little guy jumped up to the 10th percentile. i usually am right next to the nurse as she marks his measurements on the growth chart but this time i was was just playing around with him, although i did glanced over and saw that his numbers increased from his last check-up. i was not my old anxious self of needing to see exactly where he was on the charts. when our doctor came in and told us, i was shocked. warmth and comfort came over me and i became surrounded by huge arms that filled the small room. i felt secure and protected and i immediately knew it was my grandfather, who i know is still here with us.

my grandfather was not one of many words, although his presence was greatly felt. he has come to me a few times other times to let me know that things will be alright. once, after a medical procedure and two times the day i broke my collar bone when i was 6 months pregnant. my grandfather came to me when i just realized that i broke my collar bone and then in the emergency room when my concern for the baby escalated. comfort and warmth for a short while in-between the intense pain i was feeling.

my grandfather was the first man in my life and he was a constant figure in my life. we spent a lot of time together, he and i. if i slept over on the weekend, we would have an early breakfast together (my grandmother always slept in) it was always an omelet and he made the best omelets, i still can taste them but have yet to duplicate them. in the spring, we planted his garden together i remember so vividly the feeling of poking my finger down into the cool earth and how vested i was in the entire growing season. in the summer, i always arrived to a bowl of fresh ripe raspberries and a refreshing pitcher of ice tea with mint from the garden. in the winter, we gathered around the wood burning fireplace and we put in the sparkling colors. those colors were beautiful amidst the flames. and my grandfather always had a big cozy chair. there was always room in his chair for me and that comforting feeling is just as i remembered.

blissful simplicity

 :: my children are very blessed. blessed with people who love them dearly. blessed with family and friends to share in their birthday celebrations. blessed with family, who would do anything for my children and would give my children the world. and children just do not need a world of material goods, but it always nice to have a few special gifts for a birthday celebration. gifts that are chosen with much thought and consideration. gifts that are beautifully made and well crafted. gifts that have meaning and purpose. and sometimes myself, i am left wondering if what i have to give is enough. 

many questions run through my head. should i make something more? should i purchase something else?  will there be enough to fill up the easter basket? 

after a wonderful birthday celebration, sweet memories shared and a bounty of new gifts, we shared the remainder of the evening building fairy houses, playing with the fairy trinkets from the treasure hunt, drawing some pictures with on her new drawing pad and reading. we read a story from her new grimm's fairy tales book and a second-hand copy of Miss Rumphius, which is a wonderful story with a message about doing something to make the world more beautiful.

and today, my daughter had been watching out for butterflies in the garden, listening to the little chirps from our bird house, looking at the ants in the sidewalk cracks, picking violets and playing with her wooden warbler water whistle. she is blissfully swimming in her pool, searching for some of her new birthday treasures underwater: a piece of granite, a foreign coin, a rose quartz point and a bracelet made from new beads her brother (and i) picked out for her. she is eager to hang her new wind chime and plant her sunflower seeds later on today and is excited about making more "fairy wands", which are the fruit skewers we made for her birthday party. 

and it is a reminder to me that children do not need much. there have been a few gifts that have been played with, but mostly she is fully content engaging in the wonder and beauty of nature.

simplified play

with my daughter at her grandmother's house for a few days, my husband and i did the first sweep of simplifying. in doing a big sweep, it might work better to have the little one's away. we have tried to do a little at a time in the past but it just did not work for us.


it was a challenge to change a play area for an almost 6 year old to an area that could be shared with a 1 year old. the first step was to remove all the small items which could be a potential choking hazard. we left toys that were safe for a toddler to play with, like wooden blocks, smaller-sized playsilks, a few musical instruments, a basket of wool balls and a basket of wooden eggs downstairs in the play area. and on the top shelf of the playstand, we were able to keep a few of our daughter's toys downstairs.

we brought one of the playstand upstairs into our daughter's bedroom. all her natural collections were organized. smaller-sized ones were put in canning jars and others went into baskets. the open-ended toys stayed and the commercialized toys were eliminated. the simplicity parenting book offered a few tips of toys without staying power:

1. broken toys
2. developmentally inappropriate toys
3. character toys like my little ponies, care bears, barbies, littlest pet shop, etc
4. toys with too many functions and buttons
5. hi-tech / over stimulating toys
6. offensive / annoying toys
7. "developmental" toys like smart boards type gadgets and leapsters
8. toys you are pressured to buy
9. toys that inspire corrosive play
10. toy multiples

this is something that is years in the making for my family and we really are not there completely yet. we really did eliminate a lot of toys that we accumulate from well-meaning relatives. i think our family tries hard to purchase what they believe our daughter will like, but unfortunately, the toys just are not played with and the toys really hinder imaginative and creative play. 

i have not purchased from mainstream toy stores in years. the last time, my husband and i walked around and around the store, desperate to find a gift for our daughter's birthday. we knew none of the toys in the toy store suited her, but felt we had to purchase something. we purchased a set of fairy dolls (which fell apart) and a set of bugs encased in marbles (weird, i know). 


i will say that my husband and i sometimes are not on the same page with this as well beacuse this past christmas, my husband felt that he needed to buy her "other" toys. in his attempts, he went off to toys stores numerous times, only to come home empty handed and his head spinning. he searched the internet tirelessly and spent a lot of time picking out some gifts. despite his well meaning purchases, the toys were barely played with. we'll have to see if he feels the need to venture out to the toy stores again.


has your family been able to simplify? is everyone on the same page? does your extended family support your efforts? what do you say to your spouse or family regarding this?

simplicity parenting

i have had this book for a while, but i have not made it past the preface. today, i needed to have already read the book, as our little one's skills of climbing and moving furniture rapidly developed. (well, small furniture), so i had to jump to chapter 3 - simplifying the environment.

we are in the process of trying to rearrange our adjoining living room and playroom (intended to be dining room) to make it safe for a almost 6 year old and 1 year old to share the same space. we had our little guy sectioned off in the living room but he's able to hop up on the furniture that was acting as the barrier. now, we are in the process of trying to rearrange the blockade to keep him safe in the living room. i say blockade because today we started utilizing a smaller wooden kitchen as a gate and by lunchtime he was pulling and dragging the kitchen set over, in order to get to the playroom. with this pic and the fact that he took his first steps at 8 1/2 months, need i say more about my little guys's determination and strength!

we initially were going to move our daughter's smaller things to the higher shelves on her playstands, but looking over at her toys, almost all of them are too small for a 1 year old. she has lots of baskets full of treasures, like sea shells, rocks, pine cones, gemstones, beads, marbles, coins, tree blocks and sticks, wooden balls, beach rocks, acorns and fairies upstairs in the hall (the only other place possible) would take her away from where most of our family activities are and that would not work well for our family.

what i love most is that her treasures are that they are open-ended. from the first time she took some pine cones discovered on a nature walk and set them out to represent our family, i saw the light of open-ended toys. shortly after, flower gardens were created from colored blocks, sea shells were arranged into fairy paths, tree blocks and polished stones became the birds at our feeders and our overgrown Peegee hydrangea bushes became her "secret hideout". of course, along the way, her treasures have grown. 


i do have to go back to the beginning of the book, but, what have you do with all your little older one's treasures? do you scale them back from time to time? do you rotate them?