just as i remembered

we had great news last week. our little guy jumped up to the 10th percentile. i usually am right next to the nurse as she marks his measurements on the growth chart but this time i was was just playing around with him, although i did glanced over and saw that his numbers increased from his last check-up. i was not my old anxious self of needing to see exactly where he was on the charts. when our doctor came in and told us, i was shocked. warmth and comfort came over me and i became surrounded by huge arms that filled the small room. i felt secure and protected and i immediately knew it was my grandfather, who i know is still here with us.

my grandfather was not one of many words, although his presence was greatly felt. he has come to me a few times other times to let me know that things will be alright. once, after a medical procedure and two times the day i broke my collar bone when i was 6 months pregnant. my grandfather came to me when i just realized that i broke my collar bone and then in the emergency room when my concern for the baby escalated. comfort and warmth for a short while in-between the intense pain i was feeling.

my grandfather was the first man in my life and he was a constant figure in my life. we spent a lot of time together, he and i. if i slept over on the weekend, we would have an early breakfast together (my grandmother always slept in) it was always an omelet and he made the best omelets, i still can taste them but have yet to duplicate them. in the spring, we planted his garden together i remember so vividly the feeling of poking my finger down into the cool earth and how vested i was in the entire growing season. in the summer, i always arrived to a bowl of fresh ripe raspberries and a refreshing pitcher of ice tea with mint from the garden. in the winter, we gathered around the wood burning fireplace and we put in the sparkling colors. those colors were beautiful amidst the flames. and my grandfather always had a big cozy chair. there was always room in his chair for me and that comforting feeling is just as i remembered.

last bits of the summer sun

 

i love this time of year. autumn is beginning to make it's arrival. little bursts of autumn color can be seen amongst the lush greenery of the trees. a light sweater is required for our evening walk and cool, dewy mornings. but, by midday, the summer sun is so prevalent. we explored a nature center and seized the opportunity for the children to swim in their pools.

on the top of my to-do list is to brush up on my picture taking skills. i continue to try and capture vince's little hands and toes playing with the rainbows around our house. if he would just sit still it would be so much easier. i am always a second too late in capturing the pic. i also never imagined how difficult it would be to capture a picture of both children together. i have my work cut out for me. i also have to search out some camera options. any suggestions?

do you know how to fly?

do you know how to fly? well, i am trying to fly. but not up in the air, silly. i am trying to fly in my home. that's right. flying inside via help from the flylady.

i have searched around her website (she also has books) and i think i have the jist of what she is trying to say. basically, consistently do her suggested routines so that they become second nature to you. you will always be a step ahead in your cleaning, and you'll be dressed and ready for company at any time. you'll have a clean sink and bathroom all the time.

i signed up for the daily emailing list, which is rather lengthy, but i am just working on the daily flight plan and mission (it follows the daily flight plan)  i am focusing on my bedtime routine, morning routine and decluttering in small increments. there is a weekly home blessing, where she wants you to set the clock and do all the sweeping, moping, dusting, etc in 1 hour. it takes me far longer to do this, but i think i will be getting more efficient as a practice this more? we'll see because i am not sure if this is possible and i do have a smaller house.

she has a monthly focus and this month is the before bed routine and beginner steps on her website.

anyone else try flying yet?

mandalas and the first days of school

school was about to begin and homeschooling still was not in the cards for me this year so i chose the next best thing. we transitioned my daughter to a new school. it was a big decision to make. in making the decision, i sought support and i was able to make a decision from a calm and peaceful place. of course, some family was supportive and some family can not think of possibilities outside of what they know. in the past, i was one who let myself be overcome with stress in making such a big decision. this is such a huge progression for me. thank goodness i am getting more sleep.

coming up to the first day, i have been waking up earlier each day in preparation for the start of school. i wake up before the children and i am greeted by a rising sun that casts a warm glowing light throughout our downstairs. i am able to get a coffee, start breakfast and start the day slow. these are my first days of waking before the children and i remember how great it is to start the day this way and it is definitely a time that one can have a little mama time :) wink wink  

my mind was busy and i could have found a hundred things to do on that first day, but i didn't. i was conscious to keep a slow pace. i spent time with the little guy, we started the dance between inhaling and exhaling, bring more rhythm to our day. while the little one napped, i enjoyed some tea, read a little and worked on some mandalas. the house was noisy, mostly answering the little one's calls to his "sissy" but yet the house felt quiet. i am missing my little girl terribly.

here's a link to the mandalas above
more mandalas here

drum roll please

after 17 1/2 months, my son is sleeping through the night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it has been 10 nights or so, i actually lost count. my son's diet has expanded to include coconut milk yogurt, coconut milk ice cream and peanut butter and he has an upcoming checkup. my body has just begun adjusting to being able to sleep and the world is unfolding more and more each day. i feel alive, but i feel like i have so much to process, so many thoughts, so many feelings that i suppressed or not thought about logically because of my sleepless situation. i feel that i have so much to catch up on, so many things i would like to do, so many books i would like to read, so many things i would like to make.


but i tell myself to take it slow, allowing myself a new start by choosing healthy choices for my mind, body and spirit. allowing peace and calm to be part of my life. i am get back to a regular sleep pattern. i work on a slow and peaceful bedtime routine, filled with hot showers, steeping tea, a book (still reading simplicity parenting) i ground myself in the now and work at establishing new rhythms to my day (and my daughter is off to full day first grade, more on that later). i am trying out new recipes my little guy and my new found joy is sweeping. i used to pull out the vacuum out due to our 2 dogs and 2 children and our inside/outside routine. it was taking so much energy to lug the vacuum around and i was just so exhausted afterward. and the sweeping is light, playful, and very rewarding in many ways. i am also trying to commit to an opportunity to take some time for myself once a week. and i know i am worthy of the time, worthy of nurturing myself, i just have to put it into action. and i write it down as a little step closer towards my commitment to self-care. how do you find time to nurture yourself throughout the day?