Friday, June 18, 2010
with some help with the little guy there is a new feeling in the air and i am riding a new wave of hope. my life has revolved around my son's feeding schedule, it has been rigorous with feedings every hour and a half and it feels like i am still caring for a newborn baby. we are very fortunate to have some help that started coming into our home and offering suggestions to fit my son's needs, while finding balance with our family's needs.
help is coming just as i am unraveling. i have tried so hard to keep up with it all, but it has taken a toll on my family and on my health. my words would be better, if i said, that i let this take it's toll on me. you see, i am still learning how to truly care for myself and nurture myself. i really learned to take care of myself when i became a mother. and through learning about rhythm and waldorf, i learned to nurture myself and my family. through our baking days, gardening days, painting days, soup making day, and nature walks i begun to heal that part of myself that needed to be healed.
but on the days that i have had too much on my plate and did not sleep enough, are the days that i resort back to not taking care of myself. it has been off and on like this for the last 15 month, which has caught up with me and i can not deny it any more. there has been an intervention and i am so grateful to start on a new path. my work will be to establish a good, healthy rhythm for myself and my family. so this is my new journey.